:) , happy...
for the first time in ages i feel happy !
and for no reson.
maybe its because they stopped arguing.
maybe its because i havent heard his name today.
maybe its because i just dont care anymore.
and to be honest at the moment i dont, all i care about is the feeling i have right now and how i want to savor it forever ! to feel like this is to feel everything. undepressed, unalone .
to feel.....loved?
is this love? , is what im feeling the major L word :/, am i scared? am i nervous?
i dont know.
honestly im completely blank, and its made me happy.
all i can think about are the good moments and times ive had.
forgettting about wats happened, and happening and remembering and thinking of the good.
i love it , ive missed it. feeling like this.
feeling as tho people care,
feeling as tho no harm can come to me,
feeling as though im on top of the world.
feeling as tho i am love.
i wonder how much longer it will last, and i am becoming scared of when it will be taken away from me. and i no it will.
i no this feeling of joy wont last forever , but i will hold onto it for as long as i can, and when i lose it i have no worry because it will soon be back :)
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Friday, August 7, 2009
thankyou.
i havent blogged in a while, but thanks to a special someone i think i might.
i am only one person , and one person is all i can be, i cant be who you want me to be , i cant be who i want me to be, all i can be is me. and to you i may not make sense but thats just me.
". you are the strongest person i've ever known.i will always be praying for you.you are so brave and i can't begin to empathise, can't begin to understand your pain.god chose to lead you along this road for a reason,i truly believe that life will go uphill for you soon.please stay strong, every time i see you smile i feel much happier to know you're not giving up."
someone wrote this and although to you or anyonelse it might not mean anything but to me it meant everything, those 71 words made me feel like im worth something when i feel like im worth nothing , its people like that who've made me strong, who've made me never want to give up , and have made me want to keep on keeping on and so YOU are the strong one , YOU are the brave one. people like you are my heroes.
i am not brave , i am barley even coping.
i am not strong, i am practically breaking.
i look up at the sky and wish things will change, wish it will all be over, but i no it wont. generally when things get as bad as they have, they start to get better, but they keep getting worse.
i look at my family , and find no one to turn to .
i look at my friends, and find very few who care.but those very few mean a hell of alot and those few are the ones that have saved me, that have made me want to fight for what what i deserve not only for them , but for mmyself.
as i said before, this might not make sense to you , but it doesnt need to.
i am only one person , and one person is all i can be, i cant be who you want me to be , i cant be who i want me to be, all i can be is me. and to you i may not make sense but thats just me.
". you are the strongest person i've ever known.i will always be praying for you.you are so brave and i can't begin to empathise, can't begin to understand your pain.god chose to lead you along this road for a reason,i truly believe that life will go uphill for you soon.please stay strong, every time i see you smile i feel much happier to know you're not giving up."
someone wrote this and although to you or anyonelse it might not mean anything but to me it meant everything, those 71 words made me feel like im worth something when i feel like im worth nothing , its people like that who've made me strong, who've made me never want to give up , and have made me want to keep on keeping on and so YOU are the strong one , YOU are the brave one. people like you are my heroes.
i am not brave , i am barley even coping.
i am not strong, i am practically breaking.
i look up at the sky and wish things will change, wish it will all be over, but i no it wont. generally when things get as bad as they have, they start to get better, but they keep getting worse.
i look at my family , and find no one to turn to .
i look at my friends, and find very few who care.but those very few mean a hell of alot and those few are the ones that have saved me, that have made me want to fight for what what i deserve not only for them , but for mmyself.
as i said before, this might not make sense to you , but it doesnt need to.
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